Hello, I’m Ieva*
I call myself an existential migrant. Meaning:
voluntary emigrant who supposedly has an “existential” motivation, unlike economic migration, simple wanderlust, exile, or variations of forced migration. ‘Existential migration’ is conceived as a chosen attempt to express something fundamental about existence by leaving one’s homeland and becoming a foreigner.
In 2015 worked, lived and travelled in the USA for a few months. It “broke” me. I left every single known comfort, saw an amazing world and noticed, how flawed some of my beliefs were. Can I even call them mine? They came from other people, that this is the way this world works and that’s what I should want. I found out that the well-known and “correct” life path does not make me happy and I want other things so much more. Coming back home and getting another high paying job with a professional growth potential just proved this to me. I used to think – this is the goal, this is the dream, this will make my family proud.
But it left me miserable. I already knew there’s so much more in this world and the path I am currently on is already laid out in front of me: doing a boring and unfulfilling work, spending money on stuff, buying a flat, buying more stuff and taking 2-4 weeks off for vacation. 45 hours of my week (minus the commute) have already been decided for decades into the future.
However, my heart would sink in despair every time I saw the office building. I wanted to cry, I felt empty, I felt so unhappy every day at work. The last bit was when I noticed how happy my coworkers were. I wanted to be happy doing something I enjoy.
What is it? I had no idea.
So in 2017 February, I moved to London. I left home mentally and physically ready for any challenge and opportunity. And it was the best thing out many best things I have ever done.
In 2019 January I moved to Edinburgh. The same island, but mentally felt like it’s another world. I start over, but I do things differently again.
My next move will be somewhere warm. I am not ready to settle down, buy a house, get a stable career, find a husband.
My path in life is to live fully, experience and see this planet’s beauty [carefully].
Exploration, knowledge, beauty, growth.
This makes me an existential migrant.
And now about the author.
- She’s 29.
- She lives in Edinburgh.
- Originally from Lithuania.
- She’s 155 cm tall (5 ft 1 inch).
- She’s shy and introverted.
- She is open to opportunities.
- She loves mountains and coffee.
- She loves train rides.
- She is always learning and improving herself or her life.
* capital letter i. One day I’ll teach you to pronounce it.